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The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man

“Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.”

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: The East Pacific

Regional Influence: Apprentice


The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, zero percent divorce rate, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 25.069 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Environment also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,583 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 342,390 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 2,245th in the world and 67th in The East Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 130.26 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 36thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 121stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 149thLargest Insurance Industry: 208thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 237thMost Influential: 316thHighest Disposable Incomes: 445thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 590thHighest Economic Output: 683rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 683rdMost Corrupt Governments: 823rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 866thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,150thHighest Average Incomes: 1,360thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,416thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,551stHighest Poor Incomes: 1,607thLowest Crime Rates: 2,245thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,412thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,684thLargest Black Market: 2,997thLargest Mining Sector: 3,242ndMost Beautiful Environments: 3,431stMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,760thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,851stLargest Populations: 4,179thBest Weather: 5,334thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,531stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,901stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,998thFattest Citizens: 7,016thLargest Governments: 7,035thMost Secular: 9,068thTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 14,316thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,148thMost Efficient Economies: 16,948thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,845thLargest Information Technology Sector: 21,046thHighest Drug Use: 24,056th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 5th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 15th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 22nd in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 34th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 34th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 44th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 47th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 56th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 62nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 67th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 73rd in the regionTop
Largest Mining Sector: 85th in the regionLargest Black Market: 91st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 115th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 124th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 151st in the regionBest Weather: 165th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 170th in the regionFattest Citizens: 175th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 179th in the regionLargest Governments: 191st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 222nd in the regionMost Secular: 308th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 375th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 436th in the regionRudest Citizens: 488th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 494th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 496th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 558th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 626th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 786th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 793rd in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

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