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“Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.”

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The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, anti-smoking policies, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 32.853 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Healthcare, Environment, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. The average income tax rate is 1.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth an astonishing 11,212 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 341,306 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 2,277^th in the world and 31^st in The East Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 12,922.19 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.