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The IHaveNoMouth and IMustScream of Asendavia

“Country, Army, Family”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
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Location: The East Pacific

Regional Influence: Squire


The IHaveNoMouth and IMustScream of Asendavia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Hjalmar XVIII with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, free-roaming dinosaurs, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.646 billion Asendavians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Strömhärad. The average income tax rate is 94.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Asendavian economy, worth a remarkable 1,787 trillion Jade Nudoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 269,007 Jade Nudoes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 795,137 per year while the poor average 71,527, a ratio of 11.1 to 1.

National stress about the waning heir-line is causing a rise in alopecia, colonial subjects have Asendavian culture shoved down their throats, trails to natural wonders are littered with trash from reality film crews, and government popup ads are springing up like weeds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Asendavia's national animal is the Gyoruna, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ademarism.

Asendavia is ranked 153,843rd in the world and 6,174th in The East Pacific for Most Pacifist, with 3.16 Cheeks Turned Per Day.

Largest Black Market: 693rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 745thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 936thMost Influential: 1,287thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,439thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,510thTop
Most Subsidized Industry: 1,574thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,778thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,022ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,041stMost Devout: 2,283rdHighest Average Incomes: 2,313thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,451stLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,574thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,796thLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,987thMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,737thLargest Governments: 4,521stLargest Mining Sector: 4,677thHighest Average Tax Rates: 5,091stMost Advanced Public Education: 5,525thMost Efficient Economies: 6,350thHighest Economic Output: 7,043rdLowest Crime Rates: 7,661stTop
Healthiest Citizens: 10,504thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 10,827thMost Developed: 13,640thRudest Citizens: 14,158thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 14,904th
Largest Black Market: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 20th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 24th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 29th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 32nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 35th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 40th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 40th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 46th in the regionMost Devout: 47th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 49th in the regionMost Influential: 59th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 65th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 67th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 67th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 74th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 92nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 98th in the regionLargest Governments: 103rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 105th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 114th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 136th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 189th in the regionLargest Populations: 268th in the regionRudest Citizens: 275th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 276th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 288th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 355th in the regionMost Developed: 378th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 407th in the regionMost Stationary: 474th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 502nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 601st in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 154 » A Slanted Black Stripe, Todd McCloud, Aelitia, The Romanum Legio, The Empire of Rijelv, Unger under over, Axdel, Davinhia, Blazing Samaritan, Urimel, Kucia, Ridann, Freedom Fascists, New Leganes, Bai Lung, Kangarawa, Arkantis, Elejamie, Drunken Seal Islands, Brotherland, Galve, Lanagon, Survivoristan, Wanabe, Propwash, Goodnamesarerare, Joundia, Euricanis, Trimmania, Wizardonia, Elkenian, Roliganistan, Kaigi, Kyrloth, Republic of Monarchists, Lyontisia, Mundiferrum, Norport, Adolanta, Talitoa, Ribanzi, Danesopia, H-Zhena, Bachtendekuppen, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Federated States of Zootron, Am Echad, Xhaco, AngusEssa, Amjedia, and 104 others.Artimisiare, Biggstonia, Airrajul, Roissyland, Broengtopia, Bullpups, Chile-Paraguay, Headpat Central, Wiranath, New Birblands, Tshana, The Holy Empire of Moronica, Mirasiro, Socialist Holy American Empire, Kampf Empire, Fedele, Mastariere, Qui sequuntur somnia, Ver Norge, Someseni, Wendelandia, Peatiktist, United Edwards, Ravendi, Verketa, Dark Edgyness, Ruso-Germania, Hizuru, Marrico, United China Nation, The Happian Union, Republic of Berzerkistan, Cantonese Union, Thyaclinia, Shavara, Davelands, Nazagully, Eagas, The Anarchy Republic of Slaanesh, Yumaka, The Sacred Whale, Neruch, Shantan, Gorbastan, Solarfall, Norgsveldet, Tuvaltastan, Slui, Squid Ruinosa, Gluponija, The Angel of Charity, Osterreich und Ungarn, Janoobi Jazair, Taya Dust, Just Vale 2, The United Asian Republics, Pakitsk, Stellar Colonies, The Buckeye States, VW53Aland, Free sovereign Soviet socialist republic, The Cult of the Great Cthulhu, BearStackof2015, Justice-Becoming, VoyKovie, Kilkire, ArenaC, Funkadelia, The New Wisconsin Empire, America Mjolnir, The United Neo American Union, Sreneck, Rhealaliit, Plazland, Cyant, Staynes, East Malaysia, Libertanny, Enlil, Dragons Blood, Escade, Analon, Bantan, 7-5, Constructbegin, Kyrtizhan, Akorial, Grossvietnam, Indovinesia, Marrabuk, Liberstankonia, Lerasi, The Death Syndicate, RovaMittala, Sericena, Magosconity, Sans Sense, Mossy-Oak, Stanisiti, The Green Blade, Commodore Badger, Mr Dr Prof Patrick, New Jamisonia, and La xinga.