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The Piratical Godmodder of Pakitsk

“Ecõltsk ont Frôtotsk”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Piratical Godmodder of Pakitsk is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Vûlakìs Avēlôs Pârkōv with an even hand, and remarkable for its national health service, daily referendums, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cheerful population of 10.539 billion Pakotskì are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Võlatsk. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Pakatska economy, worth a remarkable 2,634 trillion danirtsks a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 249,979 danirtsks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A video of Vûlakìs Avēlôs Pârkōv wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news, unemployment rates have skyrocketed as businesses abandon the country in search of cheap labour, old fossils give the tours at the parliamentary museum, and 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Pakitsk's national animal is the marmot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Welfarism.

Pakitsk is ranked 278,180^th in the world and 12,180^th in The East Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -31.47 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

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