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The White Pearly Heavens of Finely Unionized Network

“I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The White Pearly Heavens of Finely Unionized Network is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Alpha and The Omega with an even hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, smutty television, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 22.876 billion Angels are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kingdom of Heaven. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Celestial economy, worth a remarkable 2,808 trillion Crypto-Rupees a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 122,750 Crypto-Rupees, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Frustrated women are overjoyed at the provision of communal washing machines, Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Celestial officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them, foreign nations often blame poverty and terrorism on Celestial selfishness, and frustrated teenage boys are told that if they like it then they should have put a ring on it. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Finely Unionized Network's national animal is the Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Way The Truth and The Life.

Finely Unionized Network is ranked 264,850^th in the world and 5,406^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -210.79 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

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