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The Republic of Laamiva

“They're Palatschinken, not Pfannkuchen.”

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The Republic of Laamiva is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 13.014 billion Laamivans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kuressaare. The average income tax rate is 76.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Laamivan economy, worth a remarkable 1,193 trillion rubiins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 91,693 rubiins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Beggars lack pockets for spare change, men are finding 'she spots' more easily but they can't use them, Leader's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies, and the nation's leader is normally just referred to as "snuggle-wuggle-huggy-bear". Crime is totally unknown. Laamiva's national animal is the rabbit, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Laamiva is ranked 223,317^th in the world and 3,157^th in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 8.62 Obesity Rate.

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