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The Not Not Republic of Not Austria

“This is not Austria, go away.”

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The Not Not Republic of Not Austria is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Comrade Meow with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, ban on automobiles, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.407 billion Not Austrians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Not Vienna. The average income tax rate is 91.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Not Austrian economy, worth a remarkable 1,000 trillion Not Euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 106,396 Not Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Unpopular cops are fired at a moment's notice by the citizens they police, tourists visit Not Austria to mass-moon Not Austrian politicians, excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions, and sweat stains are proof of political acumen. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Not Austria's national animal is the Not Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Not Austria is ranked 301,668^th in the world and 4,041^st in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 4.32 Obesity Rate.

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World Assembly

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