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“Glory to Dalimbar! West is Best!”

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The War Criminal of Dalimbar is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Marshal Markus Briand with an iron fist, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 40.396 billion Dalimbari are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Andreisberg. The average income tax rate is 82.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Dalimbari economy, worth a remarkable 5,457 trillion Free State Credits a year, is highly specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 135,097 Free State Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Prison visits increase substantially during election years, Marshal Markus Briand's webseries about the alleged hauntings of Saint Andreisberg generates millions of views, survivors of attempted maternal infanticide are sentenced to live with their mothers forever, and court cases mostly involve lawyers shouting questions at witnesses giving silent shrugs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dalimbar's national animal is the Libreagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Dalist Path.

Dalimbar is ranked 313,298^th in the world and 3,698^th in the West Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring -11.58 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.