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The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State

“Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
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Location: the Pacific

Regional Influence: Page


The Free Joy State was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 333

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, avant-garde cinema, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.825 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,136 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 244,546 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 953,019 per year while the poor average 42,853, a ratio of 22.2 to 1.

Real chickens replace rooster weather vanes on inner-city rooftop gardens, the full title of Hon Exalted Holiness Vcte Mgve MF PPFJSLM GCFJE runs to several pages, Big Belly is watching you, and red fabric is banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 35,795th in the world and 497th in the Pacific for Most Stationary, with 588.79758844708 Days.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 234thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 249thMost Devout: 358thMost Primitive: 396thLargest Insurance Industry: 723rdLargest Black Market: 888thLargest Mining Sector: 897thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,261stMost Corrupt Governments: 1,344thMost Avoided: 1,362ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,379thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,382ndFattest Citizens: 1,445thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,816thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,133rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,258thTop
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,457thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,458thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,389thHighest Average Incomes: 3,780thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,550thMost Conservative: 4,557thHighest Economic Output: 4,603rdMost Subsidized Industry: 9,768thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,877thTop
Most Authoritarian: 11,824thLowest Crime Rates: 12,681stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,081stMost Efficient Economies: 13,468thLargest Governments: 13,533rdMost Influential: 13,794thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 21,987thLargest Populations: 22,705th
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Primitive: 13th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 14th in the regionMost Devout: 18th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 19th in the regionLargest Black Market: 23rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 28th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 32nd in the regionMost Avoided: 34th in the regionFattest Citizens: 34th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 38th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 41st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 47th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 47th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 49th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 60th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 61st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 62nd in the regionTop
Highest Economic Output: 64th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 76th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 95th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 99th in the regionLargest Populations: 111th in the regionMost Conservative: 195th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 205th in the regionMost Influential: 215th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 215th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 263rd in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 321st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 350th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 358th in the regionLargest Governments: 359th in the regionMost Stationary: 497th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 498th in the region

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