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The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State

“Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
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Location: the Pacific

Regional Influence: Page


The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, zero percent divorce rate, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.589 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 63.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 2,522 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 238,210 Sweetings, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,345,966 per year while the poor average 20,700, a ratio of 65.0 to 1.

Soldiers go to war dressed in cassocks and robes, believers who wear their faith on their sleeves make easy targets in hostile areas, unwilling fathers wish they had looked for a late-night pharmacy, and no true communist is an unbeliever. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 1,569th in the world and 32nd in the Pacific for Most Avoided, scoring 1,037.12 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Most Ignorant Citizens: 232ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 281stMost Devout: 362ndMost Primitive: 588thLargest Insurance Industry: 798thLargest Black Market: 913thLargest Mining Sector: 986thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,153rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,359thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,359thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,414thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,458thFattest Citizens: 1,534thMost Avoided: 1,569thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,792ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,019thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,576thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,901stHighest Average Incomes: 3,892ndHighest Economic Output: 5,218thMost Conservative: 5,687thLargest Agricultural Sector: 6,857thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,687thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 8,050thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,360thHighest Disposable Incomes: 8,480thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 12,063rdLowest Crime Rates: 13,538thLargest Governments: 13,633rdMost Authoritarian: 14,389thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 14,600thMost Influential: 15,030thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18,049thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 18,895th
Most Ignorant Citizens: 7th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Devout: 13th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 18th in the regionLargest Black Market: 18th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 19th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 22nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 25th in the regionMost Primitive: 25th in the regionFattest Citizens: 27th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 31st in the regionMost Avoided: 32nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 40th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 41st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 42nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 73rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 78th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 80th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 82nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 94th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 128th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 194th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 197th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 214th in the regionMost Influential: 238th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 261st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 278th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 293rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 314th in the regionMost Conservative: 329th in the regionLargest Governments: 335th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 363rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 509th in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 831st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 843rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 962nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 999th in the region

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