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The Protectorate of Morcairn is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Ebeneezer Beesley with an even hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, compulsory military service, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 4.951 billion Morcairnians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cykwersfeld. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 14.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Morcairnian economy, worth 736 trillion kusacs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 148,674 kusacs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 443,372 per year while the poor average 39,038, a ratio of 11.4 to 1.

The national sporting identity is represented by a talking burger and a singing smartphone, heart attacks are regarded as a coming of age ritual, half-submerged and flooded seaside hotels are technically still next to the beach, and sermons are regularly interrupted by businessmen taking phone calls. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Morcairn's national animal is the Tortoise, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Holy Order of the CHBWSL.

Morcairn is ranked 82,099^th in the world and 85^th in The Kodiak Republic for Most Developed, scoring 66.46 on the Human Development Index.