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The ValkGuard Kingdom of Xobria

“Only those who climb shall prosper”

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The ValkGuard Kingdom of Xobria is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by George Tyrac with an even hand, and renowned for its parental licensing program, complete lack of prisons, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 14.351 billion Xobrians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Snowpine. The average income tax rate is 87.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Xobrian economy, worth a remarkable 1,192 trillion Knickel Brasses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Furniture Restoration, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 83,126 Knickel Brasses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

When it comes to real men it takes one to know one, the government is spending millions on alternative clean-burning fuels, only vaccinated citizens may have free healthcare, and all telephone traffic is monitored for 'national security reasons'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Xobria's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Valkism.

Xobria is ranked 7,434^th in the world and 5^th in Institute of Cellulose for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,891.04 pounds of wildlife per square mile.

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