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The Supreme Communist Empire of Tsertle of Turtle

“Government knows all.”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Supreme Communist Empire of Tsertle of Turtle is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Big Brother with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, triple-decker prams, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.883 billion Turtleanians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tsertle of Turtle City. The average income tax rate is 73.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tsertle of Turtlean economy, worth a remarkable 2,389 trillion Tsertlons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Retail, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 219,576 Tsertlons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The face of Big Brother is a permanent feature of the Tsertle of Turtle City skyline, playground injuries are considered academic progress, farmers in arid regions are puzzled with government directions to plant rice this year, and the subway is dead quiet in early afternoons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tsertle of Turtle's national animal is the Turtle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Big Brotherism.

Tsertle of Turtle is ranked 5,528^th in the world and 2^nd in North Turkestan for Most Corrupt Governments, with 213.83 kickbacks per hour.

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