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The Naked Monks of Trappist

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The Naked Monks of Trappist is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by St Benedictus with an iron fist, and renowned for its enslaved workforce, keen interest in outer space, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 31.751 billion Trappistians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rochefort. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Trappistian economy, worth a remarkable 4,061 trillion trappists a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 127,908 trappists, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

The Department of Health is snowed under by requests for crisper ciabatta and tenderer tagliatelle, kilts and cassocks are viewed with suspicion, there's a lot of mouth-breathers about these days, and paters with strange deformities like three eyes and tentacles have been seen prancing through the countryside where industrial waste is dumped. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Trappist's national animal is the pater, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ordo Cisterciensis Strictioris Observant.

Trappist is ranked 16,190^th in the world and 1,171^st in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 93.02 law-abiding acts per hour.

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