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The Wolfiste of Tom

“I am the liquor”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Wolfiste of Tom is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Star Biceps Danger Vendetta Busta Doggy with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, public floggings, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 9.993 billion Sad Men are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Grill. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.5%.

The all-consuming Sad Man economy, worth a remarkable 1,050 trillion Burrito Bucks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Trout Farming, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 105,099 Burrito Bucks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 380,750 per year while the poor average 20,683, a ratio of 18.4 to 1.

Wigged-out hunters report playing croquet with the Queen of Hearts, the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Sad Men any less frightened, children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, and the lactose-intolerant are force-fed cheese products with predictably gassy results. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tom's national animal is the Big Dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Tribunal Temple.

Tom is ranked 40,815^th in the world and 1,083^rd in the Rejected Realms for Lowest Crime Rates, with 77.36 law-abiding acts per hour.

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