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“I'll see you in a couple.”

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The Bastards of Nightmaire is a massive, orderly nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, restrictive gun laws, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.834 billion Americans are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.7%.

The very strong Nightmairean economy, worth 119 trillion dreams a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Basket Weaving, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 65,257 dreams, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 217,201 per year while the poor average 14,609, a ratio of 14.9 to 1.

Crime is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Nightmaire's national animal is the Dreamcatcher, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Nightmaire is ranked 90,177^th in the world and 12^th in Cole World for Most Cultured, scoring 67 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.