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The Neuwish Republic of New Unojo

“YOU EAT BABIES!”

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The Neuwish Republic of New Unojo is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Alice Navratilova with an even hand, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, complete lack of prisons, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 7.652 billion Neuwians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luca Stad-Stadt. The average income tax rate is 97.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Neuwish economy, worth a remarkable 1,138 trillion Jis Zeichens a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 148,829 Jis Zeichens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is spending millions on alternative clean-burning fuels, cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park, therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, and from the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in New Unojo. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. New Unojo's national animal is the Neinding, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

New Unojo is ranked 283,279^th in the world and 5,008^th in The East Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -397.63 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

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