Spotlight on:

The Lazy Lumps of Lazulite

“Let's Be Having You”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Lazy Lumps of Lazulite is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Minas Gerais with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, zero percent divorce rate, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.348 billion Lazuliteans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Styria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 90.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Lazulitean economy, worth a remarkable 4,590 trillion Lasers a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 215,047 Lasers, with the richest citizens earning 9.5 times as much as the poorest.

Nothing gets the party jumping like Minas Gerais specifying how high, students are explicitly allowed to write answers on their forearms before exams, the men in trenchcoats hanging around playgrounds are actually police officers, and exported livestock are wined and dined before they are flat ironed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lazulite's national animal is the Limpet, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Cynicism.

Lazulite is ranked 6,108^th in the world and 490^th in Lazarus for Most Corrupt Governments, with 202.06 kickbacks per hour.

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