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The Republic of Latvia

“Latvia”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Republic of Latvia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, renowned for its smutty television, enslaved workforce, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 22.945 billion Latvians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 90.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Latvian economy, worth a remarkable 3,901 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 170,032 Golds, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 645,094 per year while the poor average 31,111, a ratio of 20.7 to 1.

Strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins, politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental, the entire entry for Latvia in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the World reads 'mostly harmless', and government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Latvia's national animal is the Elephant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Latvia is ranked 113,026^th in the world and 3,733^rd in Lazarus for Most Primitive, scoring -29.42 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

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