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The Holy Cheesedom of Swiss Cheese Wheel

“When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city”

Overview • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Holy Cheesedom of Swiss Cheese Wheel is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Monocle Man with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory military service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.023 billion tricycles are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Zoo's Monkey Exhibit. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.4%.

The powerhouse tricycleian economy, worth 122 trillion cheeses a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Trout Farming, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 120,048 cheeses, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 458,056 per year while the poor average 21,766, a ratio of 21.0 to 1.

Homosexuality is a crime punishable by death, the nation's train stations are widely considered to be the ugliest in the South Pacific, citizens try to ignore gruesome pictures of decaying teeth printed on their soda cans, and weapons produced by newly nationalized armaments factories have been found to contain sawdust instead of gunpowder. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Swiss Cheese Wheel's national animal is the exotic cheese toucan, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Swiss Cheese Wheel is ranked 283,676^th in the world and 5,392^nd in the South Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 236.62 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.

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