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The Jingoistic States of Drumpfpocalypse

“When I think I’m right, nothing bothers me.”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Jingoistic States of Drumpfpocalypse is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Donald J Drumpf with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, keen interest in outer space, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 15.973 billion Drumpfers are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Drumpf City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Drumpfpocalypsean economy, worth a remarkable 5,623 trillion Almighty Dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 352,054 Almighty Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,276,034 per year while the poor average 3,440, a ratio of 952 to 1.

Corporate 'hostile takeovers' now involve ICBMs and main battle tanks, newborn babies can only be discharged from maternity wards during daylight hours, government opponents tend to have their patents rejected immediately, and pregnant hitchhikers with signs requesting rides to "competent care" are a common sight on Drumpfpocalypsean roads. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Drumpfpocalypse's national animal is the Toupee, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Gospel of Greed.

Drumpfpocalypse is ranked 294,036^th in the world and 11,332^nd in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 2.57 law-abiding acts per hour.

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