Spotlight on:

“The best midfielder in the Premier League.”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The West Ham and Arsenal Legend of Declan Rice is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, parental licensing program, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 3.764 billion Declan Riceans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 74.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Declan Ricean economy, worth 507 trillion Monies a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 134,760 Monies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Wandering Declan Riceans are known for their one-track minds, tardiness has increased after carpooling was classified as a criminal offense, sick Declan Riceans are hair today and gone tomorrow, and a burger chain recently changed its name to Mack Donaldz for legal reasons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Declan Rice's national animal is the Card, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Declan Rice is ranked 160,548^th in the world and 4^th in Football for Largest Populations, with 3.76 billion capita.