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“Celebrating the NBA”

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The Republic of DeAndre Jordan is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its daily referendums, infamous sell-swords, and zero percent divorce rate. The compassionate population of 2.522 billion DeAndre Jordanians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 47.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient DeAndre Jordanian economy, worth 94.6 trillion Kivuian Dollars a year, is dominated by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 37,493 Kivuian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings, sleep-deprived officials are known to collapse after late night revision for their examinations, and commuters are denied boarding for attempting to bring packed lunches onto trains. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. DeAndre Jordan's national animal is the Rhino, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

DeAndre Jordan is ranked 75,338^th in the world and 3,686^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 68 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.