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“Everybody's Free to Feel Good!”

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The Republic of Cooliestan is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by President with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, unlimited-speed roads, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 24.601 billion Cooliestanians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The tiny, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Public Transport, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Miami. The average income tax rate is 7.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cooliestanian economy, worth a remarkable 5,472 trillion Coolie Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an amazing 222,451 Coolie Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's most "productive" diamond mine hasn't been operational for seven months, agreeing to appear on TV is often the best way to access social care, surrogate mothers are encouraged to refer to their wombs as 'rental space', and blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Cooliestan's national animal is the Scarlet Ibis, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cooliestan is ranked 1,499^th in the world and 2^nd in Caribbean for Most Cultured, scoring 305 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.