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The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia

“Fear God and Keep His Commandments”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by King Montebad II with an iron fist, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, fear of technology, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.437 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Spirituality, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonite economy, worth an astonishing 12,927 trillion virtues a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 551,582 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Police officers often conceal their identities to safeguard against public complaints, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction, government police forces protect public schools from the threat of protest, and the government baselessly accuses foreign dignitaries of being assassins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Mandaeism.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 285,474^th in the world and 6,266^th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 3.5 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.

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