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The Masonic Administration of Attached Mexico

“Gott mit uns”

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The Masonic Administration of Attached Mexico is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Holy Council with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 19.868 billion UM citizens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Constantinopla. The average income tax rate is 87.3%.

The frighteningly efficient A UM Citizen economy, worth a remarkable 3,189 trillion Solareses a year, is highly specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 160,548 Solareses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Bilingual UM citizens are viewed with suspicion, people can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler', baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward, and glassy-eyed A UM Citizen wives lifelessly chant "I love you" on command. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Attached Mexico's national animal is the Rensimia, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is UM Gods.

Attached Mexico is ranked 137,843^rd in the world and 16^th in Union Mundial for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 103.32 on the Clooney Contribution Index.

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