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“Dead as Dreams”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The This Entire *ing Battlefield of Weakling is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by John Gossard with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, soft-spoken computers, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.937 billion Weaklingians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Francisco. The average income tax rate is 53.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Weaklingian economy, worth a remarkable 1,201 trillion Cassettes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 173,200 Cassettes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The government considers it a sacred duty to video bikini-clad beach swimmers, a positive pregnancy test doubles as a visa, turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint, and troops are either deafened by gunfire or a hysterical voice screaming the Party manifesto. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Weakling's national animal is the Demon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Black Metal.

Weakling is ranked 56,211^th in the world and 29^th in Conservative Guild for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,781.8 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.