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The Regional Hegemonic Morass of Timbuktutu

“Our revolution still lives!”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Regional Hegemonic Morass of Timbuktutu is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Mansa with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, state-planned economy, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 6.165 billion Timbuktutuans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baggywrinkle. The average income tax rate is 52.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Timbuktutuan economy, worth 928 trillion Boubous a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 150,558 Boubous, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Every political party claims that their platform is based on divine revelation, life is somewhat repetitive, foreign leaders never seem to want to shake hands with Mansa, and girls in elementary school classes gaze longingly at boys playing tag. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Timbuktutu's national animal is the Mansa Goose, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Islam.

Timbuktutu is ranked 289,170^th in the world and 5,127^th in The East Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2.76 pounds of wildlife per square mile.

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