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The Regional Hegemonic Morass of Timbuktutu

“Our revolution still lives!”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Regional Hegemonic Morass of Timbuktutu is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Mansa with an even hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, avowedly heterosexual populace, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 7.455 billion Timbuktutuans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baggywrinkle. The average income tax rate is 67.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Timbuktutuan economy, worth a remarkable 1,383 trillion Boubous a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 185,598 Boubous, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Life is somewhat repetitive, grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly, faking deafness is the only way to guarantee a holiday in the nation, and atheists and evolutionary biologists are fleeing the country like rats from a sinking ship. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Timbuktutu's national animal is the Mansa Goose, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Islam.

Timbuktutu is ranked 313,352^nd in the world and 5,076^th in The East Pacific for Nudest, with 4.25 cheeks per square mile.

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