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The North-Eastern Swashbucklers of Squirrel Island Pirates

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Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The North-Eastern Swashbucklers of Squirrel Island Pirates is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its enslaved workforce, feral children, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 8.124 billion Squirrel Island Piratesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 64.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Squirrel Island Piratesian economy, worth 861 trillion Dubloons a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 106,045 Dubloons, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 445,258 per year while the poor average 16,413, a ratio of 27.1 to 1.

Those who investigate UFOs tend to wake up delirious on abandoned roads, code enforcement officers circle wealthy Squirrel Island Piratesians like vultures, a new "thought police" branch is being developed, and the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Squirrel Island Pirates's national animal is the Squirrel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Squirrel Island Pirates is ranked 15,798^th in the world and 1^st in The Gulf of Maine for Most Corrupt Governments, with 117.92 kickbacks per hour.

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