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The Red Sox Nation of Sox

“The impossible dream”

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The Red Sox Nation of Sox is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Ted Williams with an even hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, parental licensing program, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The compassionate, devout population of 27.259 billion Red Sox fans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fenway Park. The average income tax rate is 67.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Bostonian economy, worth a remarkable 4,316 trillion bloody socks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 158,363 bloody socks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes, nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths, business is adjusting to new gender equality policies in the workplace, and park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sox's national animal is the green monster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Fever Pitch.

Sox is ranked 15,138^th in the world and 7^th in Seinfeld for Lowest Crime Rates, with 94.04 law-abiding acts per hour.

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