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“𝖁𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖎𝖓𝖙 𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖊𝖒 𝕾𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖓𝖊𝖓𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖗”

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The Double Archprincipality of Schwessen-Hellfohen is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Friedrich-Wilhelm II with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and national health service. The compassionate population of 5.618 billion Schwessen-Hellfohenians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nieufschtadt. The average income tax rate is 45.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Schwessan-Hellfohan economy, worth 423 trillion Hellfohan Marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,436 Hellfohan Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sex education has become an intricate maze of stick figures and complex metaphors, crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination, worried-looking neonatal nurses are being deployed in place of SWAT teams during dangerous drug busts, and kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schwessen-Hellfohen's national animal is the Black Hellfohan Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Schwessen-Hellfohen is ranked 38,718^th in the world and 1^st in Island of Weilssen for Most Cultured, scoring 75 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.