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The Bad Bad Hats of Nothing Gets Me High

“I don't want you to wonder why”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Bad Bad Hats of Nothing Gets Me High is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its fear of technology, prohibition of alcohol, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.913 billion Nothing Gets Me Highians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 55.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nothing Gets Me Highian economy, worth 958 trillion bad bad hats a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 138,662 bad bad hats, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

"Mad Max: Returning Again to Barrydrome" is this year's unexpected summer blockbuster, political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Leader's throne, Nothing Gets Me High is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, and brave curators do battle with disorganised government libraries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nothing Gets Me High's national animal is the hat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Nothing Gets Me High is ranked 112,535^th in the world and 158^th in Stereo Hearts for Highest Food Quality, scoring 20.77 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.

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