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The Republic of Kozakh

“We will survive.”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Republic of Kozakh is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by the son of the cheesemonger with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, compulsory military service, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 14.856 billion Kozakhs are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alma Yalta. The average income tax rate is 27.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Kozakh economy, worth 542 trillion Donetsks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 36,517 Donetsks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Blood donations have been banned because of the risk of eternal unrest, the nation's entire cultural heritage is being auctioned off to the rich, the upper class have been throwing riots after hunting was recently banned, and televangelists flaunt their expensive cars when they attend charity events. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kozakh's national animal is the Hetman's mule and its national religion is Shamanism.

Kozakh is ranked 25,045^th in the world and 25^th in The World Rearranged for Most Primitive, scoring 75.17 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

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