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“When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.”

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The Antarctica Founders of Joop is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Joop Polarbear with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed population of 49.503 billion Joopians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Industry, although Law & Order, Education, and Defense are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Icetown. The average income tax rate is 58.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Joopian economy, worth an astonishing 10,201 trillion Polar Crowns a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 206,078 Polar Crowns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Every day is laundry day, subsistence farmers require doctorates in applied sowing, rural Joopians are missing the forest for the numerous cellular towers they replaced, and children trade in their pickaxes for hammers and sickles. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Joop's national animal is the Polar Bear, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Atheism.

Joop is ranked 261,612^th in the world and 33^rd in Antarctica for Most Cultured, scoring 61 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.