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The Business Man and Professor of Cooper Hefner

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The Business Man and Professor of Cooper Hefner is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, lack of airports, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.244 billion Cooper Hefnerians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 79.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cooper Hefnerian economy, worth 746 trillion Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Furniture Restoration, Soda Sales, Retail, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 102,992 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

A signed affidavit from a prominent anti-corruption advocate declares that she is in fact a crook after all, children have only the most basic of education, Cooper Hefner is renowned for its lax gun laws, and extraordinary rendition is nothing out of the ordinary. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cooper Hefner's national animal is the Bunny, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cooper Hefner is ranked 51,386^th in the world and 1^st in Playboy for Lowest Crime Rates, with 73.78 law-abiding acts per hour.

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