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The Empire of Chesters Offspring

“Got a problem? Bomb it.”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Empire of Chesters Offspring is a large, safe nation, renowned for its hatred of cheese, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 80 million Chesters Offspringians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.3%.

The sizeable but inefficient Chesters Offspringian economy, worth 3.02 trillion peoples a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 37,745 peoples, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's water should not be ingested while operating heavy machinery, politicians look weirdly alike, the Chesters Offspring City XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle, and all guns must be registered. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chesters Offspring's national animal is the goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Chesters Offspring is ranked 156,464^th in the world and 115^th in Ninjar Tyla Blevins Cancer Syndrome for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 582.6 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

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