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The Eternal Misfortune of Aqualagoon

“Stop Reading My Motto!”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Eternal Misfortune of Aqualagoon is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Queen Shrub with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, rampant corporate plagiarism, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.11 billion Aqualagoonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Florapolis. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Aqualagoonian economy, worth a remarkable 7,432 trillion Raindrops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Trout Farming, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 461,340 Raindrops, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Most academic research has ground to a halt, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past, and the latest guided missile cruiser "Ship-1642" has received precisely zero column inches in the press. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Aqualagoon's national animal is the Trout, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Food.

Aqualagoon is ranked 294,172^nd in the world and 34^th in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Nicest Citizens, with 0.06 average smiles per day.

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