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The Eternal Misfortune of Aqualagoon

“Stop reading my motto!”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:

Location: the South Pacific

Regional Influence: Minnow


The Eternal Misfortune of Aqualagoon is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its feral children, complete lack of public education, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.44 billion Aqualagoonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Welfare and Healthcare not funded at all. The average income tax rate is 6.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aqualagoonian economy, worth 817 trillion Raindrops a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 150,303 Raindrops, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians accepting drinks in bars are executed for taking bribes, one does not simply walk into the tundra, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past, and the new national mascot has to be wheeled onto the field of play. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Aqualagoon's national animal is the Trout, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Aqualagoon is ranked 7,654th in the world and 313th in the South Pacific for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring 125.33 on the Hayek Index.

Largest Agricultural Sector: 1stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 4thMost Ignorant Citizens: 50thHighest Crime Rates: 98thMost Armed: 108thMost Primitive: 128thMost Devout: 217thMost Rebellious Youth: 480thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 552ndMost Subsidized Industry: 691stBest Weather: 1,009thNudest: 1,286thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,395thTop
Most Avoided: 1,928thLargest Black Market: 3,260thHighest Disposable Incomes: 3,497thFattest Citizens: 3,597thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,538thMost Efficient Economies: 7,235thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 7,654thTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 12,016thHighest Average Incomes: 12,733rdRudest Citizens: 13,520thMost Stationary: 14,541stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 15,355th
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 6th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 7th in the regionMost Armed: 7th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Devout: 8th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 17th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 19th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 25th in the regionMost Avoided: 28th in the regionNudest: 31st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 32nd in the regionBest Weather: 36th in the regionLargest Black Market: 58th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 75th in the regionTop
Fattest Citizens: 79th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 147th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 183rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 280th in the regionMost Stationary: 292nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 313th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 322nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 351st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 365th in the regionTop
Largest Populations: 422nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 449th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 759th in the region

National Happenings

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