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The Phantasm of Afi-Aftos

“Eschew Obfuscation”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
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Location: Fredonia

Regional Influence: Hegemony


The Phantasm of Afi-Aftos is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by El Guapo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 40.005 billion Afi-Aftosians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government prioritizes Industry, with Administration, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loompaland. The average income tax rate is 81.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Afi-Aftosian economy, worth a remarkable 8,335 trillion Fishterous Correlations a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 208,355 Fishterous Correlations, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

Afi-Aftosians have replaced bears in a popular idiom, Afi-Aftosians are free from pain - but the side effects include loss of individual thought and freedom, people forget to eat because they are too busy singing El Guapo's praises, and homesickness is thought to be a waterborne illness. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Afi-Aftos's national animal is the Vermicious Knid, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dudeism.

Afi-Aftos is ranked 713th in the world and 1st in Fredonia for Fattest Citizens, with 69.21 Obesity Rate.

Most Subsidized Industry: 6thMost Stationary: 9thLargest Populations: 57thLargest Mining Sector: 98thMost Ignorant Citizens: 182ndLargest Black Market: 183rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 260thMost Primitive: 297thMost Corrupt Governments: 334thMost Avoided: 378thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 460thMost Efficient Economies: 534thHighest Crime Rates: 590thFattest Citizens: 713thHighest Economic Output: 735thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 736thLargest Retail Industry: 1,161stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,239thMost Armed: 1,562ndRudest Citizens: 1,957thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 6,023rdMost Influential: 6,087thNudest: 7,063rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,294thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,412thMost Advanced Public Transport: 10,575thLargest Governments: 11,052ndTop
Highest Poor Incomes: 13,574thHighest Average Tax Rates: 14,636thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 16,803rdMost Secular: 19,132nd

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