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The Holy Primitivist Tribe of A Primitive Tribe

“Mottos are a form of unconsensual Westernization”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:

Location: Europe

Regional Influence: Newcomer


The Holy Primitivist Tribe of A Primitive Tribe is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Most Devout Xizotetinelti with an iron fist, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, prohibition of alcohol, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.278 billion Primitive Tribeans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized morass — is effectively ruled by the Department of Spirituality, with Environment also on the agenda, while Education and Healthcare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heb-Yam Hauroon. The average income tax rate is 55.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Primitive Tribean economy, worth 7.20 trillion beads a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 1,364 beads, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Families returning from international vacations are unable to get their children back into the country, there's never a spare chair in the retirement home, the government's suicide hotline now redirects callers to local tax lawyers, and illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. A Primitive Tribe's national animal is the Holy Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Animism.

A Primitive Tribe is ranked 216,296th in the world and 1,139th in Europe for Most Popular Tourist Destinations, with 9.37 Tourists Per Hour.

Most Primitive: 19thMost Ignorant Citizens: 42ndMost Devout: 64thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 438thMost Corrupt Governments: 707thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 791stBest Weather: 993rdFattest Citizens: 1,287thTop
Most Avoided: 2,929thHighest Crime Rates: 3,365thMost Beautiful Environments: 10,079thTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 19,660th
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 4th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionTop
Most Corrupt Governments: 12th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 12th in the regionFattest Citizens: 17th in the regionBest Weather: 22nd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 24th in the regionMost Avoided: 32nd in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 106th in the region

National Happenings

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