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The Holy Empire of New New New Alabama

“Bless your heart”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Holy Empire of New New New Alabama is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by William Williams with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, pith helmet sales, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.206 billion New New New Alabamans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New New New Montgomery. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 76.9%.

The frighteningly efficient New New New Alabaman economy, worth a remarkable 1,193 trillion Stepsisters a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 192,278 Stepsisters, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Common misteaks slip threw as the Issues Editing Team adds issues by the hundread (New New New Alabama has found 3 easter eggs), nobody expected the fruit inquisition, there is no such thing as an innocent fling in the New New New Alabaman military, and casino tax breaks are even bigger than their jackpots. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New New New Alabama's national animal is the Fried Chicken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jesus.

New New New Alabama is ranked 17,348^th in the world and 469^th in The North Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 7,673.12 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

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