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The Lucky Blue Dance Festivals of Happy Thoughts

“You're Never Fully Dressed without a Smile!!!”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Lucky Blue Dance Festivals of Happy Thoughts is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Faithguide Wendy Regina the Lovely with an iron fist, and renowned for its fear of technology, ubiquitous missile silos, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.526 billion Happy Thinkers are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Public Transport and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Celebrations. The average income tax rate is 79.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Happy economy, worth a remarkable 1,867 trillion gold Kindnesses a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 149,120 gold Kindnesses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians that report exaggerated crowd sizes for their speeches are dismissed for being delusional, government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders, expectant parents view twins with equal parts joy and suspicion, and the urinary fragrance of seedier establishments is thankfully hidden by the smell of stale smoke. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Happy Thoughts's national animal is the Happy Ghost Kitty, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Followers of the Regions Featured.

Happy Thoughts is ranked 89,491^st in the world and 2^nd in The Featured Region Followers for Most Primitive, scoring 14.79 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

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