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The Owl Lord Protector of New Cretanja

“Pro Regnisos Terro! Pro proxiso!”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Owl Lord Protector of New Cretanja is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its prohibition of alcohol, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 5.585 billion Cretanjans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 71.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The very strong New Cretanjan economy, worth 338 trillion Crettes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Retail, Furniture Restoration, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 60,527 Crettes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is a law unto itself, the monarch's main official duty is christening ships, business meetings across the country are interrupted by the sound of squeaking whoopee-cushions, and several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Cretanja's national animal is the Owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

New Cretanja is ranked 249,106^th in the world and 209^th in The Brotherhood of Malice for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 17,008.1 Standard Monetary Units.

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