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The Holy Empire of The Deitsch

“Hiwwe wie Driwwe”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Holy Empire of The Deitsch is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, digital currency, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 757 million Deitsch are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lengeschder. The average income tax rate is 49.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Deitsch economy, worth 73.5 trillion Deitschmarks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 97,070 Deitschmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The year's most anticipated show is "Great Deals on Delicious Meals", one-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man, the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents, and children are terrified that the 'flying police monster' will come to take them away in the night. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Deitsch's national animal is the Grundsau, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

The Deitsch is ranked 91,318^th in the world and 65^th in Lands End for Most Patriotic, with 16.02 flags saluted per person per day.

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