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The Daily Wanderings of Featured Hopper

“Anyone Seen A Carrot?”

Overview • Factbook • Dispatches • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Daily Wanderings of Featured Hopper is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by that scwewy wabbit with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, otherworldly petting zoo, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.042 billion Featured Hoppers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Carrot City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 92.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Featured Hopperian economy, worth a remarkable 1,778 trillion carrots a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 252,606 carrots, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,099,742 per year while the poor average 36,724, a ratio of 29.9 to 1.

Science centers and state of the art laboratories are ubiquitous, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, religious bigotry is not allowed but bigotry against theism is encouraged, and students learn how to disarm mines before understanding basic arithmetic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Featured Hopper's national animal is the hopper, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Featured Hopper is ranked 176,038^th in the world and 23^rd in 100 Nations of Conquest for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring zero on the Clooney Contribution Index.

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