Dear the Bar,
Due to your excessively bad food, horrendously large number of Health and Safety violations, and severe damage done to the fabric of the multiverse, we at the Multiversal Cafe do hereby send this declaration of war to you and yours. You must send a response in the next twenty four seconds or the kitten army waiting in your parking lot will no longer be so hungry.
With love,
The Multiversal Cafe
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