AtlantisBoard

Atlas news service wrote:

Regional News
In her unparalleled intellect, Patrician Bettisia has decided to approve an Embassy with Warhammer 40000, a ghastly apocalyptic hell-hole engulfed in perpetual, bloody war. How they found the time out from butchering each other to send over an ambassador, this paper cannot fathom.

Well received. May the Emperor protect your region, in Posiedon's name.

Ambassador Bean reporting.

Thanks for the introduction of the 41st Millennium. That is putting it rather mildly. Ghastly indeed, and don't forget grim dark! Everything is pushed to grandiose-gothic-comic fashion. In the myriad of ongoing clashes for survival, dominance, subterfuge, or simply the thrill of the fight, etc, there is no holding back, no promise of progress, and no bystanders. The war simply must go on.

"It's often remarked that diplomacy is just warfare by other means.
Our battles are no less desperate for being bloodless,
but at least we get wine and finger food."
-Tollen Felrang, Imperial Envoy to the Realm of Ultimar, 564-603 M41

Yet, if you would stop trembling and bleeding for a moment, and manage to survive past the 15 hour life expectancy of a typical guardsmen, this opens the oppertunity to discover and take part in threads of deep and intracit lore. This may prove quite fascinating and enthralling, and it underlies what locks us together in these conflicts. Not all of which are mindless trigger-happy bloodbaths, though we have plenty of those those too, there is a method to the madness. Or so we are told... The Emperor commands, and we obey, over the hills and far away.

In this case, that has bought my attention under the sea.

Lemmingtopias wrote:

It hasn't taken place yet, it's just a tracker for the scores which will determine the winner on 1st March.

Oh ok. I was confused. Obviously I need to increase my morning caffeine intake! :)

As the largest Retail Industry in Atlantis, I should remind you that the mid season catalog is out today.

This catalog is suitable for framing or just sitting on a coffee table.
(Heck! It could BE the coffee table!)
Check out pages 458- 1257 for our last chance and clearance items!
(Rocket Launchers are going three for one! Don't want to miss THAT!!!)

And as always Buy Now and Buy Often!
We thank you for your support.

Today's News Bulletin from Atlas News Service
Yesterday's News at Tomorrow's Prices

Weather
Temperatures warming rapidly today with a low as high as 7c in most nations and some areas enjoying temperatures as high as 14. This is warmer than usual for an Atlantian winter and so readers should be prepared for being forced into talking about the weather by every one they come across. Light wind speeds of around 7mph will ensure your candles don't go out like last night, which is handy as it is very cloudy today so readers may want to light a few extra.

Regional News
We reported previously of the Embassy creation between our great region and Warhammer 40000. The embassies are now fully constructed and diplomats are moving in today. The founder has informed the paper that he will fly out to the Warhammer 40000 this evening to meet dignitaries there.

Our Glorious delegate has found merit in the World Assembly Resolution to repeal international legislation banning the Death Penalty. Having poured over the details, this paper is of the strong opinion that the repeal is a convoluted and deeply dangerous attempt for the author to add their name to the statute book. The arguments are unsound, and the statement of support for a total ban on the death penalty listed in the Resolution is worth absolutely nothing when no serious efforts to bring about a replacement have taken place.

In other WA news, the Delegate has also loaned her support to the resolution to Condemn Tinfect. We salute the Delegate in this instance for using her vote to allow matters to be debated in the great halls of the General Assembly. Having said that, this paper will oppose all Security Council Resolutions which only serve to get the author's and nominee's names on the Statute book when they come to vote, which appears to be the sole point of the proposal.

Government News
We have an exclusive announcement from The Teachings of Lemmingtopias whose government has been making efforts on behalf of the region to chart the lands and waters of our region and the wider world. "It is with regret," a Lemmingtopian spokesperson tells us, "that we have taken the decision to postpone the publication of the maps. This reasoning behind our decision is that we want to ensure the maps are fully capable of being easily updated in the case of future developments and discoveries and spending more time making sure the maps are future proof now, will save far more effort in the future. Therefore, we are going to publish a unfinished and more basic draft of a part of the map on the 10th with a fuller version being released by the end of this month."

Regional Happenings
Yesterday, this paper reported on the WA claim that Bettisia is the rudest in the nation and now, perhaps, the WA gives some reasoning as to why. Bettisia has scooped up the award for the largest retail industry (per capita) in Atlantis. We would be rude too if we spent all day enduring the carnage of the perpetual Bettisian sales.Bettisians now spend $2,100 each more on junk...er…. products than the Madroceans, who until a few months ago had the top spot for retail. The change in position is due to rapidly reducing sales in Madrocea over the past seven months. Retail is not the only industry showing signs of struggle in The Assembly and Demos of Madrocea, as many industries are losing out on cash to the Arms Manufacturers and the Cheese Industry since the government implemented taxation. Why the Madrocean government is buying so much cheese, this paper has not been able to ascertain.

Elsewhere in the region, it has been reported that students are so poor in Tombradyonia that many are selling their organs in desperation. We are looking into this and hope to report back soon and the 'Freedom in Atlantis', the Peace, Human Rights and Security thinktank, is reportedly considering formally declaring The Second Commonwealth of Benjamin Mark a 'Concern' after the government was accused of trying to influence other nations to de-democratise.

News from our friends abroad
In Solid Kingdom, Rashburg and Demon catz have been named Grand Wizards. What a Grand Wizard does is anyone's guess.

Please take a moment to vote in the new poll.

Which area of our fantasy Globe do those about to colonize Atlantis come from? Ignore the actual continents and the cultural and ethnic aspects of them, just think about the general location of those areas.

Atlantis is around the area of the real world North Atlantic Ocean on our globe.

Today's News Bulletin from Atlas News Service
Yesterday's News at Tomorrow's Prices

Weather
SEVERE WEATHER WARNING
Those of us lucky enough to live in the South are in for an unlucky day. We warn readers of severe winds and high likelihood of dust storms in areas. Our advise is to only make necessary trips if you live south of 40 degrees latitude. Temperatures are still as high as 13 average across the region.
Regional News
The Founder has posted a poll which you can answer if you like. You can also answer it if you don't like. It's optional. Do it.

Regional Happenings
The Fiefdom of ElinTol is the focus of the region's discussion today as it has received both praise for it's efforts to stamp out racism while also being accused of releasing dangerous criminals, many of them racist, across the borders into other nations.

Elsewhere, the Furniture Businesses from The Assembly and Demos of Madrocea scooped up the Big Chair award. Madroceans continue to spend the most in the region on furniture but, like the retail industry discussed earlier this week, sales are dropping.

Other than that it's actually been a slow news day. How about a blast from the past?...

8 years ago today

Lemmingtopias wrote:

The soviet space program bombed my new BMW :(

The soviet space program wrote:

I never did like Bavarian cars....

Did Lemmingtopias ever get compensation? Did he buy new BMW or opt for something else? Find out tomorrow!*

* (you wont find out tomorrow)

Just a thought:

Tired and sleepy is no way to start a rainy nasty day.

I vote we start mornings later like... maybe... say 3:00pm?

It is hard to believe that neither Madrocea nor I are even CLOSE to being the most extreme! :O

Build bigger water parks. I think that's what did it for us. Our illustrious civilization's waterslides dominate the skylines of our majestic cities. In fact, most of our skyscrapers are built to have waterslide access at the rooftops. And there's STILL another elevator to get to the top of those. Because we are that awesome.

Wyld Stallyns Forever!!
*air guitars*

Bill and teds atlantean adventure wrote:

Build bigger water parks. I think that's what did it for us. Our illustrious civilization's waterslides dominate the skylines of our majestic cities. In fact, most of our skyscrapers are built to have waterslide access at the rooftops. And there's STILL another elevator to get to the top of those. Because we are that awesome.

Wyld Stallyns Forever!!
*air guitars*

~~~Roof top water slides AND jacuzzis. Now THAT is a true tourist attraction!!!
*Desktop drums added

On a slightly more serious note:

I thank everyone who has endorsed me and supports me as your representative delegate to the World Assembly.

Heh. I wasn't expecting people to go for NW Europe in the poll.

Lemmingtopias wrote:

Heh. I wasn't expecting people to go for NW Europe in the poll.

Well it has more interesting features than most of the other regions.
I'm all about the aesthetics. :)

Congrats to Zalterc for being the most conservative. And to Amma for being the lest conservative.

I ended up near the middle... guess that makes me a Capitalist. :)

Wow! Hard to believe that TWO countries are less healthy than my folks!

A HUGE thank you to Madrocea and ElinTOl for making me look healthier. :)

Again congrats to ElinTol and Madrocea for being less healthy than me!

Sincere applause for Benjamin Mark for being the TRULY healthiest region in Atlantis.

A warm and happy welcome to Dr. Zoidberg!

(Used to LOVE that show)

Oh!

A very happy Valentine's Day to all Atlantis and her allies!

Sincere congrats to Madrocea for being the most Influential in Atlantis.

I wish all of you the best of luck, I have been offered a position in a young region and I have decided to accept. Thank you for your hospitality here and the safehaven.

Wow! ok. Wow!

While I am not surprised to be ranked as the Most Armed region of Atlantis,
I am TOTALLY surprised that I am armed at more than double the rate than the next on the list.

I'm having a Bullet Blitzkrieg, if anyone is interested.
Great deals on all things that go boom!
Buy now and buy often.

And as always we thank you for your support.

Yep. Evidently Madrocea and I either forgot our deodorant or we've been talking Politics again.

Want to guess who the two most avoided regions are in ALL Atlantis? :)

Ok. So the usual suspects are at the top of the Most Unexpected Deaths rankings.
(Yes, you ARE a usual suspect ElinTol!)

But is it TRULY unexpected if you are topping the Unexpected Death list?
Think I'd be expecting to die everywhere I went?
Just sayin'!

I was going to respond earlier, but my IT guy died unexpectedly so my wifi was down.