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The Socialist Fatherland of The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics

“Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Socialist Fatherland of The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by General Secretary Gennady Zyuganov with an iron fist, and notable for its national health service, keen interest in outer space, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, cynical population of 26.824 billion Soviet citizens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moscow. The average income tax rate is 87.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Soviet economy, worth a remarkable 1,810 trillion rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 67,497 rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names, the nation's most popular sport is sabotaging foreigners' hopes and dreams, even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, and citizens are deployed to barren deserts to protect small territorial claims. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics's national animal is the bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics is ranked 268,292^nd in the world and 15^th in Planeet Aarde for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -9.37 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

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