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The Nation State of Havl

“Be kind; rewind.”

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The Nation State of Havl is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Harden Row with a fair hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, compulsory vegetarianism, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 42.323 billion Havlans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, liberal, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but sluggish Havl economy, worth a remarkable 5,560 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 131,388 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Politicians tend to speak more loudly and slowly these days, candidates make campaign speeches at the funerals of former rivals, for some reason the census focuses on daily banana ingestion and hourly quip rate, and the steaks are too high for ambassadors to butcher foreign relationships. Crime is totally unknown. Havl's national animal is the erne, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Havl is ranked 652^nd in the world and 1^st in South Eastern North West for Safest, scoring 182.13 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

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