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The Balkan Utopia Folk Festival of Pannonika

“Ogień, nie muzyka!”

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The Balkan Utopia Folk Festival of Pannonika is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Ronnie James Dio with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, sprawling nuclear power plants, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 3.974 billion Pannonikans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wratislavia. The average income tax rate is 42.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pannonikan economy, worth 581 trillion Pivoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 146,301 Pivoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Streaming video is considered to be a myth by most citizens, televisions are often seized to pay for overdue television license fees, returning vacationers often find that their property is now a construction site, and Ronnie James Dio's iHouse is so intelligent that it manages its own social media accounts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Pannonika's national animal is the Sloth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bad.

Pannonika is ranked 128,771^st in the world and 2,717^th in The North Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 856.37 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.

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