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The Pirates Cove of Piedra Negra

“You fight like a cow.”

Overview • Map • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Pirates Cove of Piedra Negra is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Guybrush Threepwood with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, free-roaming dinosaurs, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 41.851 billion Tri-Island area inhabitants are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Melee Island. The average income tax rate is 95.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Monkey Islander economy, worth an astonishing 10,312 trillion Stans a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 246,411 Stans, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children are disappointed to learn that cavemen never had a yabba-dabba-doo time riding dinosaurs to work, it's surprisingly hard to find pictures of the bad haircuts from Guybrush Threepwood's childhood, the army's trophy cabinets have gone all-organic, and first-time moms are expected to be experienced parents from day one. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Piedra Negra's national animal is the Ghost Pirate Lechuck, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Scallywag.

Piedra Negra is ranked 10,061^st in the world and 6^th in Antarctica for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 9,644.36 on the Gilded Widget Scale.

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