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The Keisririik of Estonesia

“Oleme Inimesed, Oleme Keisrid!”

Overview • Factbook • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Keisririik of Estonesia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Moonika Victoria II dira Nurmekuusik with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, otherworldly petting zoo, and devotion to social welfare. The devout population of 10.832 billion Ööselids are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Makassar. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Ööselid economy, worth a remarkable 1,764 trillion Saarstels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 162,897 Saarstels, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway, mathematicians are gathering an infinite number of Barn Swallows and typewriters to see if they can recreate the works of Max Barry, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, and anyone who so much as frowns risks being referred to a mental health unit. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Estonesia's national animal is the Barn Swallow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Ööselid Pantheon.

Estonesia is ranked 207,623^rd in the world and 1,245^th in Europe for Safest, scoring 38.97 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.

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